Mental health is a topic that is rapidly coming to the forefront of our lives. With an increased awareness of the brokenness of our modern world and the dissatisfaction of living lives governed by our past, more and more people are choosing to step out of the darkness and look for the light in the therapist’s office. They are choosing to do the brave thing: to own their stories and confront their demons, making the changes they need to live fuller, happier, and healthier lives through hard work and dedication to self-awareness and growth.

The importance of mental health is also beginning to find its place in the Catholic Church. In prominent Catholic media, such as the Abiding Together Podcast, people are actively addressing their experiences with mental health and its relationship to their faith life. Additionally, resources combining tools of clinical psychology with a Catholic worldview, including the works of psychologist Dr. Bob Schuts, are becoming increasingly popular. In a word, as a Church we are beginning to understand that finding a good therapist is just as important as finding a good spiritual director. And thanks be to God.

However, despite the resources, tools, and support available for investing in our mental health, the interplay between our mental and spiritual health is an area many of us have not yet explored. It can be difficult to navigate our thoughts and emotions to understand the role they play in our spiritual lives. Because of this, seasons of mental health struggle can be exacerbated by spiritual loneliness and confusion, as we try to understand the inner workings of our minds while, at the same time, experiencing a spiritual distance from God. 

This was where I found myself in the summer of 2018. I had just graduated college with my bachelor’s degree. I was working and preparing for my move to Nashville to start a PhD program in the fall. During this time, a triggering event sent me into a place of extreme anxiety, making it difficult for me to feel peace, calm, or a sense of self-acceptance in many areas of my life, particularly in my faith. I developed scrupulous behaviors and habits that, while alone are good and holy things, from my current mental state were only serving to encourage my fears and keep me in that struggling place. 

After a year and a half of these trials, I started the slow, painful, and necessary work to find healing, going to therapy and receiving trauma processing care. During this time I also focused on abandoning my scrupulous habits, which meant changing the way I prayed in order to give me that time to heal. Going to therapy and changing my relationship with prayer was hard, but both were absolutely needed. Now, after spending three years coming to grips with my physiological and emotional responses as well as underlying thought patterns and traumas that led me to respond in that way, I have found myself in a much better place. I still get anxious. I still have fears. But I have learned how to navigate them in a way that allows me to approach these thoughts and feelings with calm and self-acceptance. And, I have learned how to pray with them in order to allow Christ into these thoughts and feelings so that He can heal me. 

Below, I have written some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way in my journey of navigating my mental and spiritual health that you may find helpful in navigating your own. 

• Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Sometimes we experience uncomfortable thoughts or feelings we do not want to be experiencing, especially when we’ve just settled down for quiet time in prayer. It is easy to want to push these feelings away, either by distracting ourselves in our phones or (for the type A personality) trying to muscle through our prayer routines while ignoring that the feelings are there. Trust me, I get it. There are times when these thoughts and feelings seem too big to handle, and that can be really, really uncomfortable. But whatever is making us uncomfortable, whether it be an anxious reaction, negative self-talk, or the realization that we fear that we might not be enough, that is what God is trying to bring our attention to. That is what He is trying to heal. The more we run away from ourselves, the more we try to hide from these uncomfortable things, the harder it is to let God into these places and actually bring us to a place of healing. The next time you are in your holy hour and you find yourself trying to deflect with your spiritual reading, I invite you to take a moment, put the book down, and reflect with curiosity and patience about how you really feel. 

• Before you can be honest with God, you have to be honest with yourself. Take the time to examine your feelings, to sit with them patiently and wait for them to reveal themselves. This is not a one-time process. You may need to go through several layers of emotional reactions, thought patterns, and underlying wounds before you really feel like you understand what’s going on. This exercise may include both quiet time alone in prayer as well as getting help from a professional therapist. But this time is precious and necessary. We cannot allow God into our lives if we do not know what to invite Him into. We cannot ask Him to heal us if we don’t know what we need healing from. Once you get comfortable getting uncomfortable with your feelings, give yourself some time and space to explore them, and be honest with yourself about them, even if the truth is neither pretty nor what you are “supposed to” feel. And when you are ready, when you have looked into yourself and you can to be honest about what you find in there, turn your gaze to Him and bring whatever it is to His feet.

• It is okay to have places you are not ready to go yet. This process of looking inside yourself, identifying your feelings, and bringing them to God is not linear. Sometimes you will need to ask Him to illuminate what is going on. Other times, you will feel something that seems a little off,. Maybe trying to dive into a particular feeling, thought pattern, or memory leaves you feeling anxious, alone, or like you are in danger. If you are trying to ponder and pray through a certain area of your life and you feel like you are going in alone or you feel in any way unsafe, you have permission to walk away. We were not made to do these things alone, and if you do not feel the peace of the Lord with you, maybe it is not time to go to that particular place just yet. And that is okay. You will get there. God plays the long game. 

• Pay attention to the common themes that prompt your negative thoughts and emotions. As you navigate your discomfort, uncovering the thought patterns and wounds that are leaving you distressed, anxious, and overwhelmed, take a look at those thoughts and experiences to see if they have anything in common. Is there a theme of unworthiness or not being enough? Is there a theme of comparison or thinking that others might be more favored? Is there a common fear that you will be left alone, or that no one will come for you? These are important to uncover, and it is so crucial to bring them into the light. Take this place with you in prayer. If you need to, take these negative themes to someone you trust, whether that be a friend or family member, your therapist or your spiritual director, and let Christ talk to you through them. 

• Finally, have patience with yourself. We are all broken. We all have places that need healing, thoughts and feelings that do not coincide with Truth and from which we need to be released. We all have trauma, and we are all on this road to holiness together. It is okay if you are not perfect today. It is okay if you are not healed today. Your journey is going to take time, and trust me, it is going to be beautiful.

Friends, the journey of knowing yourself, of uncovering your brokenness and asking for healing, is a hard one. It requires a lot of work. It requires a lot of reflection. And it requires getting very, very okay with suffering. But addressing our mental health, learning how to identify the places that need healing and being willing to put in the work to let healing happen, that is the stuff that will make us saints and prepare us for the lives that God has called us to. So be not afraid. This is the beginning of something wonderful.